2. Learn to Become Your Own Partner
After being cheated on, it is a good idea to spend some time alone. Advocate for yourself and treat yourself with the kindness you deserve. Make sure you demand what you know you deserve and don’t ever settle for anything less than. Make sure you understand your emotions and your needs, rather than just focusing on the person that cheated on you. Stop always putting yourself last and stop second-guessing your intuition.
You don’t have to continue making excuses for your spouse’s behavior. Instead of trying to “help,” “save,” or “fix” them, do all of that for yourself and your life. If your spouse wanted to stay with you, they would have never of cheated, to begin with.
Your spouse understands right from wrong and they understood this when they were having the affair. If they don’t, then it is even more of a reason to get out as quickly as you can. When someone decides to cheat, it is a conscious decision, it is not one that just accidently happens. Don’t let them make you think it was an accident, they know what they stand to lose. You need to worry about yourself and begin to find ways to fulfill your life outside of other people.
When you become your own partner, you can ensure you always put yourself first. This is impossible when you are with someone who is focused on themselves all the time. It is time to cut the cord and let go.
1. You Deserve Someone Who Would Never Hurt You Intentionally
Cheating is a completely deliberate act. Either your spouse never cared for you, or loved you, or they don’t know how to love. In either situation, you deserve much more. The good news is, there is more out there. However, you have to say goodbye to the person who cheated on you first. The fact is, being alone is much better than being with someone who is willing to purposefully and knowingly hurt you.
When you are in a situation where you are being cheated on, you may begin to place some of the blame on yourself. This is what your partner wants you to do. They make statements that can make you feel like you drove them to another person’s arms. This is simply crazy. They made the conscious decision to cheat on you – nothing more, nothing less.
When they decided to have an affair, they likely did everything they could to keep it secret. That is because they knew it was wrong. If they knew what they were doing was wrong, then there is no way that it was your fault. Each time they visited, called, or even thought about the other person, they were basically solidifying the fact that they did not find your feelings or commitment to them important. Once you understand this, you are going to discover that divorce is much easier than you ever imagined.
Cheating is not a victimless crime. It leaves marriages in shambles, people broken hearted, and quite a bit of other issues in its wake. If you are married to a cheater, you have to find the strength to leave. The old saying, “once a cheater, always a cheater,” (as mentioned above) has merit. Millions of people have given their cheating a spouse a second chance, only to regret it in the long run.
Divorce is scary. Being on your own is often intimidating. However, when you find your strength and finally see that you deserve more, you can make a break for good from the person who is hurting you intentionally.
When you use the information here, you can clearly see why leaving a cheater is really the only option you have. Don’t stay with someone who broke your trust and the vows you took. This is only going to leave you even more broken hearted in the long run.
Also, if you have children, staying with someone who constantly lies to you, betrays you, and has affairs is only going to teach them that this is normal and acceptable behavior. Let your kids know that they deserve more, too, by saying “goodbye.” A cheater is never going to change. Even if they promise to never do it again, can you really forget the betrayal? For most people, this is impossible, regardless of how hard they try. Making a clean break is the best way to ensure you can get on with your life and find happiness again, possibly with someone else.