10 Weird Rules College-Educated Women Must Follow To Find A Husband
Have you heard about Jon Birger’s book Date-onomics: How Dating Became a Lopsided Numbers Game? In it Birger applies economic rules to the business of dating. You may think that romance and economics should be separate and that money should not play a part in love. Well, you might well be right, but only up to a certain extent.
Money should not determine who you fall in love with (if it does you might find the marriage less satisfying in the years down the line) but the rules of economics, simple supply and demand actually translate very accurately, and indeed scarily so into the world of dating.
We all know that a premium attaches to a scarce resource but what are the scarce resources when it comes to love? Roses? Chocolates? No, it turns out that the scarce resources in modern day dating are college educated men! This means that if you want to meet the man of your dreams and get that diamond ring on your finger you are going to be facing some very stiff competition; in New York, for example, the number of single straight women is more than double the number of single straight men. This is where economics comes in. When a traditional resource is scarce (gold for example) enterprising prospectors search for new sources of the product. They spend time and effort exploring untapped regions and, if they are lucky they hit the motherlode.
In his book on the subject, Date-Onomics, finance and tech guru Jon Birger has set out clearly and succinctly exactly what young college educated women today need to do to maximize your chances of making a success of your dating dreams and beating your contemporaries in the race to the altar. Here, in this article we have summarized his 10 key points for you. Is it really true that if you’re over 35 and unmarried you’re more likely to be killed by terrorists than get married? Probably. But if you’re under 25, college educated and looking for a college educated man your chances are even worse! Keep reading.
10. Don’t Be Intimidating
Think about some of the unattached, college educated women that you know in their 30s and 40s. What do they have in common? The chances are that they are smart, beautiful and successful in their chosen careers. These women should be a premium product. They should have been snapped up by eligible men when they were much younger, so why are they still single? Some women suffer from being just too attractive. This is known as the ‘Carol Syndrome’ after the mathematical explanation that explains the phenomenon. When men see a very attractive single woman they assume that a lot of other men will be interested in her and that their chances of rejection are therefore very high. For that reason they never bother approaching her.
This also causes problems for very intelligent women. If you are too successful you will also be seen as unreachable and unobtainable by the men who are interested in long term relationships as these men often have low self-esteem compared with the lotharios who are easier to meet.
In locations such as New York the number of women vastly outnumbers the men available to date them. Here men can get everything they want (casual sex is often high on the agenda) relatively easily due to the high numbers of women in the city they are not going to want to bother with women who are challenging to talk to and date or those they perceive are so attractive that they might be rejected.
The moral of the story – if you just want to hook up don’t be too difficult to talk to or spend time with. If you want a long term relationship leading to marriage you should not sell yourself short or act stupid just to attract a mate (any one worth having will want you for you) but you should be approachable and easy to talk to. You should also make an effort to approach men so that they know you are interested in them rather than assuming you would reject them.
9. Make Foreign Friends
The phenomenon of the rise of female enrolment in college is not unique to the US but it is particularly pronounced here in America. In the US in 2012 34% more women graduated from college than men in the same cohort. This imbalance is obvious in older generations and therefore spills over post-college as well.
This means that women are competing in a difficult market with, in some cases, two or more college educated woman chasing every single college educated man. This imbalance is not the same everywhere. In China, for example, the gender imbalance is reversed with 120 boys born for every 100 girls. Bearing in mind that the people from other countries who come to work at high level jobs in the US tend to be from the wealthier and more cosmopolitan parts of society; cultivating foreign students and friends from abroad will ensure that you have an opportunity to meet with a broad range of eligible men. Of course whether their social culture and customs are ones that you will be happy with are another issue and one for you to consider very carefully if and when you end up dating someone from abroad.
8. Study A Traditionally ‘Male’ Subject
The gender gap in our colleges has become a real problem with social ramifications for both the men and the women attending these institutions. From the early 1980s more women than men have graduated college and this trend is set to get worse. Students in colleges with more women than men such as Sarah Lawrence in New York tend to live in a ‘hook up’ culture which regards relationships as transient and women as disposable. Majority male colleges such as Cal-Tech tend to be more traditional. It is not unknown for couples to meet up in freshman year and continue their relationship throughout their time in college.
If you are at the stage of your life where you are considering what courses to study you might want to consider enrolling on one with a traditional male bias. This will ensure that you spend your day to day life in the company of men and can get to know them as individuals away from the bar scene. It also makes it more likely that you will work in a male dominated industry and therefore that you will continue to be exposed to men in a beneficial environment.
A nursing degree is far more likely to leave you knowing only a handful of men compared with enrolment in a more typically male field like engineering where only 16% of all US majors are female. You may not end up dating (and may not want to) the men on your course or from your office but they will have friends and you will have a larger pool of eligible men to choose from.
7. Cultivate Different Interests
Much like choosing to study a traditionally male subject you can widen your pool of potential male friends (and therefore potential boyfriends) by cultivating a hobby or interest that attracts a lot of men.
When men were asked (online) what sort of typical male hobbies they found attractive in a woman the answers ranged from the rather flippant (pool, for example, because they could enjoy watching the woman’s body) to the more considered (sports). What does spring out form the answers is that men really relate to women who have a genuine interest in the hobby that has been born out of their own interest rather than as a trap for men.
If you enjoy sports, follow a team, can talk knowledgeably about them and discuss the year’s results then you are on to a winner. Men will love to talk to you and will introduce you to all their friends. You will also come across as more interesting, independent and less needy than someone who has nothing to talk about.
6. Move To The Right City
Did you know that where you live can have an impact on whether or not your dating life is a success and can determine whether or not you get married. It sounds crazy but it is true. Many women are drawn to large urban centers such as New York or LA for work but they also believe that in the teeming metropolis they will have the opportunity to meet a large number of men and have the pick of the crop.
Sadly this thinking is completely wrong; across the nation college educated women outnumber men with a similar level of education by 4:3 and this ratio. In certain places like big cities such as New York and LA the ratios are very much stacked against women and it can be equally difficult in some unbalanced rural areas like Montana. Fort Lauderdale scores as the location in the US with more women than men with an imbalance of 71% more women.
In areas with large numbers of women men tend to behave in a very different way. They have no real interest (or imperative) to settle down. Instead they can enjoy all the benefits of the ‘hook up’ culture. They don’t need to spend money on making a date feel special; they don’t need to promise marriage or even any type of permanent relationship. There are so many more women than men that the lucky few have to make literally no effort at all; the women will fight over them. It is perfectly possible in those situations for a man to enjoy sleeping with a different woman every week or even every night.
Despite the national trend there are locations in the country where men still outnumber women. This is typically in areas with a heavy military presence or where there are a lot of tech companies. If you are serious about finding a husband with as little competition as possible you should try to relocate to San Jose, San Francisco or Columbus Ohio. Seattle is also a buyers’ market as far as women are concerned. Indeed with a few exceptions (such as LA) the west coast is a better dating prospect for young women than the east.