10 Reasons Millennial Women Must Get Married in Their 20s or They Won’t Find a Husband
Marriage. Many women want it, some women get it, and most who do get married are waiting until they are older. Long gone are the days where women were marrying in their late teens or early 20s, and more women than ever before are waiting to tie the knot for the first time until they are in their late 20s or even well into their 30s. At the same time, however, there are more and more women, and men, by default, who are opting to never get married.
Back in 1960, the median age for women to get married was 20, and for men, it was 23. Today, the median age for women is 27, and for men, it is 29. This is a very noticeable shift. Millennials, who currently range from age 20 to 35, are in their prime time to get married, but statistics show that only about 26 percent of millennial adults are married at all. This bucks history, tradition and the wishes of most of the parents of millennials.
Bottom line, for millennial women who want to get married, the odds are against you. There are many factors working to ensure you do not get married, and some of these are self-defined. So, if you don’t get married now, when in your 20s, you may have to face the fact that you will never marry. Without further ado, here are the 10 reasons millennial women must get married in their 20s or they won’t find a husband:
10. Women Who Wait to Marry Get a Spinster Reputation
As a woman, the older you get, the more likely it will be that you fall into that “spinster” category. A spinster is a single woman, usually an older woman, who is beyond the age that most other women marry. According to document from the early 1900s, any woman who was over the age of 28 was considered to be a spinster, and this label came with a certain reputation. Though this sounds a bit ridiculous to us today, the truth is, up until 2005, England had both the age 28 and the term ‘spinster’ on its marriage licenses.
What’s so bad about having a spinster reputation? Well, it has to do with what this reputation entails. When some think of a spinster, they think of the typical “cat lady.” She’s older, frumpy, her clothing often has cat hair on her, and she may even smell like cat urine. When others think of a spinster, they think of a strict looking woman with grey in her hair, which is usually tightly placed into a bun at the top of her head.
It doesn’t matter what your definition of a spinster is; a man doesn’t want to marry a woman who smells like cats or who reminds them of the nuns they had as teachers at parochial school. So, if you are dancing on the edge of your 20s and looking towards the 30s, that spinster reputation may not be far behind.
9. Modern Women Tend to Put Their Careers First, Leaving No Time for Marriage
The days of relying on men for livelihood are long gone in the environments for most women in their 20s, and these days, as Aretha Franklin and the Eurhythmics said in their 1985 song, ‘sisters are doin’ it for themselves.’ However, the fact that women are focusing so much on building up their careers in their 20s leaves little time for marriage or dating. By the time they reach a point in their lives where they are ready to totally settle down, they are seen as either too independent or seen as a ‘ball-buster,’ who chew on men and then spit them out.
Now, putting the career first is something that women do to themselves, and there is no rule that women have to focus on a career in their 20s instead of focusing on finding a good husband. However, there is also the fact that both women and men don’t want to get married until they have some financial stability. In fact, approximately 27 percent of all millennials, both men and women, say financial stability is the main reason they have chosen NOT to get married. In other words, if they do not believe that they can provide a good life for their spouse, and vice versa, they don’t believe they are ready for marriage.
So, what does this mean for women in their 20s who are looking to get married? It means they probably have to stop being Wonder Woman, stop focusing on getting the next promotion, and instead, spend some of their time focusing on attracting the right man.
8. The Older Women Get, the More Independent They Become
Women tend to get more independent as they get older, and in most cases, a woman who is in her early 30s is much more independent than a woman who is in her early 20s.The problem? Men don’t want women who are too independent.
According to dating and relationship experts, in general, men DO like smart women, but they DON’T want a woman who is no different than their business associates. Think of the man that most women would love to have…an intelligent, successful businessman. These men go to work every day and work with other people who are smart, independent, and articulate. This includes both men and women. However, the women they work with are not the women they want to marry. Though they see these women as smart and equal colleagues, they also want to leave these women in the workplace. When they get home, they want a woman who is nurturing, warm, thoughtful and affectionate; the exact opposite of how they see their female business associates.
So, if a woman in her 30s is independent and focused on her career, her chances of finding a husband drops significantly because, whether its true or not, men will associate this kind of woman with the women in his office, and see a woman that he simply isn’t interested in for a stable, long-term relationship. However, a woman in her 20s isn’t seen as being independents, so for women, even if they have plans to become a business tycoon in the future, it’s best to grab a man when their younger than waiting until hitting her 30s.
7. Women Get More Selfish the Older They Get
As has been established, men want women to marry who will show them affection, thoughtful actions and who will nurture them. However, as women get older, they tend to become more selfish. There tends to be a turning point when a woman hits around the age of 30, where she starts paying more attention to herself than others. Studies also show that women are more selfish than men, which cause a sort of “double selfishness” as a woman enters her 30s.
Where does most of the selfishness of women fall? When they are asked to give up their time. This means, a woman who gets married in her 20s is already established in her relationship as she enters her 30s, so this new-found selfishness isn’t as big of a deal, though her husband may notice that she is more focused on herself than before and not willing to give up her time. However, since he already loves her and has promised “better or worse,” most men are fine to put up with it, and he may be getting more selfish himself, too, so he might not even notice.
Men are aware that women become more selfish, as they, too, become more selfish with age. No one wants to marry a selfish person regardless of who you are, so as a woman, if you are still in your 20s and haven’t hit this selfish point in your life, start looking for your husband, now.
6. Older Women Are Seen As Intimidating to Men
Think about single, successful women in their 30s or even their 40s. What do they have in common? If they fall into the normal stereotype, they are smart, good-looking and of course, have worked hard to get where they want to be. They also don’t have a serious relationship of any kind and have made themselves seem very intimidating to the men they wish to attract.
You may have heard a woman say that she is “too pretty” or “too smart” to attract a man and blown it off, but this is a real phenomenon known as “Carol Syndrome.” With Carol Syndrome, a man will see a woman who is beautiful, smart and successful and see her as intimidating because he simply assumes that she is taken. If she is, of course, his chances of connecting with this woman are slim to none, so he will not even put himself in a situation where he will experience certain rejection.
As you may imagine, when men believe that they will be rejected for a date, there is no reason to even approach the woman, and the women are putting themselves in this situation. If an older, successful woman wants to have a chance to marry as she gets into her 30s, she should start approaching men to show them that she is single and available. Otherwise, she will likely find that the men she is interested in are blinded by a case of “Carol Syndrome.”
5. Women in Their 30s are More Picky
By the time a woman gets into her 30s, she has become quite picky about the men they date. This greatly eliminates the number of potential partners she may have to choose from. A century ago, women had very little choice about the man she would marry. In those days, it was still common for families to have a big influence on this choice, and there was a lot of pressure from society to marry young. Women also did not regularly work outside of the home, so she needed a man to support her.
Today, however, many women support themselves, especially if they are in their 30s versus their 20s, and they can afford to be picky. But, the question is, should she? If she wants to get a husband, she shouldn’t.
You see, women only want men who meet her standards, and in many cases, a woman in her 30s or 40s have very high standards. The men who can comfortably fit within these standards are few and far between. Where are the rest of the men who can fit into this category? They have already gotten married in their 20s, and they are no longer available for her.
What does this mean for women? It means if you are still in your 20s, you should choose a man to marry, and fast. If you are in your 30s or older, it’s slim pickins’ and you should decide whether or not its really that important to have a man who is a certain height, has hair or is fit and trim.
4. Eligible Men in Their 30s or 40s Don’t Want to Get Married
Most women will want to date men who are close in age to themselves, meaning women in their 20s will be looking for men in their 20s, and women in their 30s or 40s will be looking for men in their 30s or 40s. The problem? Many men in their 30s or 40s simply don’t want to get married, and if they did, they would have gotten married in their 20s to a woman in her 20s.
Why don’t men in their 30s or 40s want to get married? One theory is that men who make it to this age without a spouse or children start to feel very comfortable as a single man. They have no strings, they have no kids to care for, and at this point in their lives, most of them as financially set and comfortable. This sounds like a great pick for a woman in her 30s or 40s, but guess what? These men are not interested. Why? Because they have their pick of willing women in their 20s who are more malleable, more beautiful, and more willing to let the guy be himself than women who are in their 30s. Consider this…why would a man who has a disposable income spend his time and money on a 30 or 40-something who has started to show the signs of aging when he can easily pull in a 20-something beauty simply by showering her with gifts? At this point in a 20-something’s life, this is what she wants, so if she is pretty enough and smart enough, she will take advantage of it.
Where does this leave the 30 and 40-year-old women? Single.
3. Women Look Their Best When They Are In Their 20s
In most cases, a woman in her 20s will be more attractive to men than a woman in her 30s. Sure, you will have those men who like the idea of a cougar, but once a woman hits a certain age and look, her prospects of finding a man drop significantly. On top of this, the men who are looking for a partner likely want children, and whether the couple choose to have kids in their 20s or wait until their 30s it doesn’t matter…he knows he has a lot of time to decide when its time for kids when he is married to a 24 year old versus a 34 year old.
Men are visible creatures, and it is not to say that a woman who is in her 30s or 40s isn’t attractive, as many are, but most younger women in their 20s are attractive, and men certainly like and want to marry the most beautiful woman they can attract. Unfortunately for women in their 30s or 40s, this is very likely a woman in her 20s.
For women who are looking for a husband, the 20s is the best time of their lives to find a partner, as you look your best, you are likely in the best shape of your life and you are at the perfect age to bear children, all things that men are looking for in the women they marry.
2. The Demographics Have Shifted
Women are looking for college educated men to marry, and they are not willing to date or marry men who are at least equal to themselves. Due to shifting demographics; however, there is now a huge discrepancy between the number of college educated woman and college educated men. According to Jon Birger’s book Dateonomics there are about 35% more women than men graduating from college every year and that number goes up every year. This means that for every 100 male graduates their are 135 women: and 35 newly minted spinsters!
o, there is now an over population of women who have an education and good prospects of a good career path, which is good for men. However, women who are seeking out a college educated man could be out of luck because there simply are not enough men to fill this role.
Women who can snag a college man while in college have a huge advantage. The longer you wait the worse the odds get and the older you become. Again, this should be a sign to women in their 20s that they better grab a guy while the getting’s good, as the pool of college educated eligible bachelors is smaller than ever before, and it will only get smaller as college educated men eventually pair off with the many available and desperate college educated women.
1. Women Won’t Marry Down
Finally, women will not marry down. In other words, they will only marry a man who is her equal or better than her when looking at socio-economic status. Women who do marry men who are less than their equal report feeling unsatisfied in their marriage. The problem for women in their 30s is that they are unable to find men that are their equal, because the men they are looking for have already partnered up with women 5- 10 years ago. While these men are approaching a decade of wedded bliss, the women who are left don’t have a lot of choice when it comes to the men who are well-suited for them.
The truth is, there is no other time in a woman’s life when there will be more choice of available bachelor’s than there is when they are in their 20s. Once you leave college and get out into the real world, most of your peers are also looking for eligible bachelors and bachelorettes. However, if you allow this opportunity to pass you by, you will find that over the next five years, most of your friends are getting married and starting families, and over the next 10 years, there are even fewer available men to choose from. At this point, you are in your mid 30s with very little prospects for men that you will be happy with. You will either have to settle for a man who has less education or money than you or remain single.
The bottom line for marriage in your 20s or 30s is this: for women, there is a much better chance that you will attract a spouse when you are in your 20s than when you are in your 30s. In your 20s you have the looks, the smarts and the attitude that men are looking for, and you haven’t gotten far enough along on your career path to make more money than him, have more influence than him or even to work over him. Instead, when you are in your 20s a man will see you as someone who can complement him, not complete with him, and this is an important thing for men who are focused on their masculinity. By choosing to wait til your 30s to settle down and get married, you will almost always find yourself with a bargain bin group of men who may not be worth your time or effort.