Top 10 Things You Should Know about the Flying Spaghetti Monster

Touched By His Noodly Appendage
Touched By His Noodly Appendage

Looking to lose your religion?  Well I’ve got the shiniest, newest, most beer-drinking gospel for you.  If you like pirates, critical thinking, beer, sarcasm, and the moral and social acceptance of all people equally you might just be Pastafarian material.  Here are the top 10 things you should know about the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster.  Put on a bib, you wouldn’t want to get any sauce on that nice shirt and enjoy!

10. The Flying Spaghetti Monster Created Our World and the Universe

 

Touched By His Noodly Appendage
The Alpha and Omega:  Touched By His Noodly Appendage

The Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster or “FSM” or his “Noodly Goodness,” as he is often called,  has existed for hundreds of years.  Followers of the FSM are commonly known as “Pastafarians.”

The Gospel and Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster were thrust into the spotlight thanks to an Open Letter to the Kansas State Board of Education written by Bobby Henderson.  Mr. Henderson wanted to include Pastafarianism as an official part of the Kansas State education curriculum alongside Creationism and Evolution.

By way of introduction, there are 8 Commandments (often referred to as “I’d really rather you didn’ts” instead of commandments) that backstop Pastafarianism:

 

8 Commandments (I'd really rather you didn'ts). Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster
8 Commandments (I’d really rather you didn’ts). Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster

Mr. Henderson also penned, The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster.

In September 2005, before Mr. Henderson wrote his book a Pastafarian known as Solipsy began collecting texts to formally memorialize the tenets of Pastafarianism.  This 203 page tome was completed in 2010 and is available for download here.

9. Pastafarianism Is Not To Be Taken Literally But It’s No Joke

The Flying Spaghetti Monster Boiled for your Sins
The Flying Spaghetti Monster Boiled for your Sins

The church and gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster is real.  Pastafarianism is a real religion. Many of its followers, however, do not believe that religion, any religion, requires literal belief in order to achieve spiritual enlightenment (I’m looking at you Christianity, Judaism, and Islam).  In fact, the only dogma allowed in the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster is the rejection of dogma.

Many members of the Church do not literally believe the scripture.  This is not unlike other major religions like Christianity.  Most Christians don’t believe the bible is literally true – but they are still Christian.

Some followers see the religion as satire.  Mr. Henderson states that satire is an honest, legitimate basis for a religion.  He believes that for satire to be effective it must be based on truth.  To understand the satire you must understand the truth that is the object of satire.

8. The Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster Is Not Anti-Religion

The Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster. Creationism With Balls
The Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster. Creationism With Balls

Pastafarians are not anti-god or anti-religion.  The Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster is open to all.  Atheists, Christians, Muslims, Agnostics, and free-thinkers make up the ranks.  Many followers of the Noodly One recognize that religion has importance and value even in the absence empirical evidence.   These propounders of the Pasta’ed One see religion as equal parts community and faith.  Their shared community under the banner of the Flying Spaghetti Monster is just as legitimate a religious community as any other and perhaps even more so because of their honesty and rationality.

A central ideal of the Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster is to scrutinize ideas and actions but “ignore  general labels.”

7. Pastafarians Believe that a Lack of Pirates in the Sole Cause of Global Warming

A worldwide reduction in the number of pirates has caused global warming.
A worldwide reduction in the number of pirates has caused global warming.

Speaking of scrutinizing ideas, Pastafarians aren’t above poking fun at melting polar ice caps.  With tongue-firmly-in-cheek they insist that the globe’s ever increasing temperature problem is directly correlated to a decline in the existence of hardy sea-faring folk, namely pirates!

They logically jumped to the conclusion that this correlation equals causation.  The fewer pirates that there are the hotter it will get.  Arrgggh Matey!! Don’t worry. They have proposed the perfect solution.  In order to cool the planet, simply dress like a pirate, talk like a pirate, and to whatever degree you can act like one.

The official dress of the Church of the Noodly One is full-blown pirate regalia!   Pastafarians believe that the noble pirate’s history and mythology has been maligned by Christianity.  FSM gospel describes pirates as peaceful explorers who happened to have a rowdy sensibilities and a penchant for rum and booty.

6. The Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster Is Open to All Races, Religions, and Sexual-Orientations

 

FSM Accepts All. Take His Noodly Appendage. In Your Hand.
FSM Accepts All. Take His Noodly Appendage. In Your Hand.

Gay?  Lesbian? Enjoy marriage?  Fantastic! The Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster supports same sex marriage and marriage of every kind.  The Noodly and sauce covered embrace of the FSM is open to all who choose to enter.

In fact, the Noodly One is not a jealous all powerful entity.  You can join the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster even if you’re a non-believer (yeah like that’s gonna happen, once you get touched by His appendages it’s over).