2. Nice Guys and Girls are Not Themselves
It is incredibly difficult for a partner to get to know their other half when the other half is a people-pleasing nice guy or girl. When one person is always in agreement and never has anything to add, they become hard to read. This leads people to feel closed off from the real person because the real person does not seem to exist.
Being offended, disagreeing with a stance, or just deciding where to go for drinks all show a personality. While all these go strongly against the nice guy persona, they are what make a person have a character. The overly nice person, who never wants to rock the boat, is hard to feel connected to. Are they just agreeing to go white water rafting because they want to? Alternatively, do they just not want to disagree? It is impossible to really feel close to someone if their motives are having to be questioned like this regularly. This distance is one reason that a nice girl may notice relationships not growing beyond friendships.
This is also a sign of not being confident, which is a total attraction killer. Confidence is knowing how a person is and embracing their personality. Nice guys and girls are doing the exact opposite. They are burying their personalities so that they can get along with everyone. This kills confidence and hides their true self. While this can make group decisions in a setting of friends or coworkers easier, it is not something most people are looking for from a romantic partner.
1. Being Nice Does Not Get You Noticed
A relationship is not going to happen when a nice guy or girl is not noticed by their love interest. Nice is a very general term, and it is not an adjective that really sticks out in someone’s mind. When the best someone has to say about another person is “they are nice” they obviously did not make too much of an impression.
Being bland is a relatively routine way to end up in the friend-zone. There is nothing that is going to cause someone to be offended by a nice guy, but there is not really anything that brings romantic interest either. It can be thought of like food; something that is just okay is not going to bring people back for more. In a similar way, a person who is just nice is not going to make a potential partner interested in a deeper relationship. This can be incredibly frustrating for the nice guy and contributes to the friend-zone that nice guys and girls complain about regularly.
The desire for a more significant relationship is built on more than being not offensive. It comes from adding to someone else’s life, in a way that is meaningful. This pitfall of the nice guy syndrome can be fought off by being passionate about something. Showing a passion draws people in, letting people with similar passions find a connection. A strong relationship, built on shared experiences both parties enjoy, shows how standing out can be a successful strategy for finding and building great relationships.
While being a person that is nice is important, putting all of someone’s identity into being a nice guy or girl can lead to dating failure. There are some perceived notions on what a nice guy and nice girl have, and what they lack. There are also some traits that filter out from being overly nice, although they are entirely unintentional. All of these can cause a person to be unattractive to their love interest.
It is hard for a person to be romantically interested in someone who is a boring, people-pleaser that lacks any real personality; and that is how many nice guys and girls are seen. These traits put off a vibe that is given off by the nice guys and girls that find their dating attempts to be unsuccessful. The result of their dating game is usually the friend-zone because their potential partners just are not romantically attracted to them. These traits do not make them repulsive people, and means they end up with many friends. Unfortunately, the nice guy or girl is looking for more and left disappointed.
Being put out into the friend-zone for being nice seems like it is a brutal part of the dating world. However, when the actions and personality of these nice guys and girls are looked at carefully, it is evident why the nice guys and girls finish last. Nice guys and girls need to focus on being a person first, with the trait of being nice as an excellent addition to a full personality.