10 Reasons Why Nice Guys and Girls Finish Last

5. Insecurities

Get some backbone Worrying is for suckers
Get some backbone Worrying is for suckers

Along with all the other off-putting qualities of the stereotypical nice guy motif, they will come off as being insecure. Constantly looking for validation from social groups, or their significant other, is going to get old, fast. Many ways that people present being insecure can also be larger problems in a romantic relationship, such as jealousy, controlling tendencies, or other harmful behaviors.

Insecurities can manifest in some different ways, none of which are the building blocks of a healthy relationship. A typical behavior that is caused by a person being insecure

is jealousy. Here is the link between nice guys and jealous types; while it is not a guarantee that a nice guy or girl is going to be a jealous crazy person, it happens enough that it makes the stereotype. Jealous people are likely to be controlling and put wedges between other relationships. To dodge the mess a relationship with an overly jealous person can bring, some will disregard a nice girl to avoid it.

Not only does being insecure lead to bigger relationship problems, but self-doubt will also showcase a great lack of confidence. Confidence is going to attract romantic interests, while insecurities are going to break down any chance that might exist. As a total turnoff, insecurity is one of the top reasons couples do not make it passed the first few months of dating. It is also another fast track way into the friend-zone, as potential partners will be hesitant to become romantically involved with a person crippled by insecurity.

  4. Lack of Self-Respect 

  

If you don't respect yourself, no one will
If you don’t respect yourself, no one will

There are many ways that people show they have a lack of self-respect, and none of them are attractive traits. It is common for people who suffer from missing self-respect to be jealous of other people’s successes. This can be very draining on a relationship when one person reacts negatively to the other succeeding in life.

  

Quite a few of the habits, characteristics, and behaviors that nice guys and girls exhibit point to having them little self-respect. In a healthy relationship, both parties are there to build each other up. When one person in a relationship shows low self-respect it is hard to succeed in helping them grow. That can cause the other person to just give up on the relationship, or to distance themselves by reducing the depth of the relationship. It is easier to have a friend that cannot be built up than it is to have a romantic partner who is unwilling to bring themselves up, even with help.

 

A person is not going to be interested in someone who is not interested in themselves. The idea that they are not interesting projected by people who suffer from a lack of self-respect; that they are not even worthy of their own respect, let alone someone else’s. It is evident, when someone respects themselves, that they are worthy of the time and energy needed for a relationship. They show they are receptive to growth provided by a partner. These are attractive traits, which bring people closer. When self-respect is lacking, then it is easy to lose attraction, and a relationship without attraction is the friend-zone.

  3. No Decisive Action  

  

Guy: Whatever you want is fine. Every Girl: Barf!
Guy: Whatever you want is fine. Every Girl: Barf!

It is exhausting to try to make all the plans, figure out all the details, and make all the decisions. In a relationship, sharing this responsibility is key. When a nice guy or a nice girl refrain from making decisions, it puts it all of this on their partner. Questions like “What would you like to eat?” always being answered in a dismissive way will become stale quickly.

 

A couple that is unable to work together to make decisions is not going to last. In the case of new relationships, or hopeful relationships, one person may try to put distance between the couple; just to avoid having to choose, yet again, where to go for dinner. Not only is this tiring, but it can also make a relationship feel more like parenthood. When one person has to treat the other as a child, it can dissolve the relationship quickly.

 

Not making any decisive moves can also be a sign that a person is not confident. Confidence is an important facet to attraction. Lacking in assurance is a quick way to appear unpleasant to a potential partner. An individual who makes sure decisions looks confident, so to avoid this nice guy downfall, decide for once what movie to see. Just by making one decision a person can look more confident, and it can also boost the ability to make future decisions as well. This personal growth naturally increases the dating potential of a person by making them more attractive and a better partner.