10) “I’m on the way!”
Blame the alarm, blame the traffic, or blame your bed for being too good to get out of- nothing changes the fact that you’re late. You’ve got about 20 missed calls from whomever it was you were supposed to meet half an hour ago, and you’re only just leaping into the shower. You finally build up the courage to respond to them, because you figure it’s better to let them know you’re still going. “I’m on the way” is the best way to placate the irate person on the other end of the phone. Just make sure they don’t hear the shower running in the background, or you’ll be in a whole world of trouble!
9) “I got stuck in traffic”
“I got stuck in traffic” is the age old excuse you tell your boss, teacher, coach, or even your date (although that would be bad form). Of course, if there actually was heavy traffic every single time we said there was, the world would be filled with a statistically improbably amount of vehicles. Some get more creative and use “there was an accident” as an excuse, but that opens up a whole can of worms what with the accident-tracking software developed these days. Still, good ‘ol traffic makes for a great excuse when you woke up late or your alarm didn’t go off. It’s a great way to shift blame from your sleepyhead antics and onto the ever present amount of cars on the road.
8) “I have read and agreed to the terms and conditions.”
You don’t even have to really say this white lie. It usually comes in the form of a little checkbox when signing up for a new account, installing software, or doing anything that may have some modicum of blowback to an organisation. Both you and the developers know that you didn’t actually take the time to read the mile-long pages that make up the Terms & Conditions section. Still, having checked that little box is a veritable signature, and corporations use it to justify user agreement to their policies. While you’re not alone in finding the Terms & Conditions tedious to read, be careful what you sign up for!
7) “It wasn’t me!”
One of the earliest white lies we learn to tell, “It wasn’t me” can be used for a wide array of contexts. From cookie jars and broken vases to barely concealed passed gas, this all-encompassing phrase has no age limit to its usage. Young or old, we all use this with a matching wide-eyed, innocent expression. However, while this white lie is highly flexible, it has a downside. Whoever says this phrase usually becomes the prime suspect, so in many cases it may be best to go with silence.
6) “I’ll get right to it!”
This is a much more polite, professional way to reassure someone that you’ll be working on the task that they just added to your mile long list. Saying “Sure, I’ll get right to it!” is certainly more polite than saying “I’ll do it once I get the rest of my priorities sorted out.” Just ensure that you actually will get the job done and notify them as soon as you can, otherwise you may have to use the next white lie on this list, which is:
5) “I sent you that yesterday. Are you sure you didn’t get it?”
This fib is in the same category as the I-didn’t-get-your-message white lie. At some point in their lives, almost everyone has used this to avoid deductions in school papers, demerits in the work place, and or to simply get out of any jam that resulted from their own forgetfulness. If you tell the person that you didn’t prioritize what they needed, this spells out a bad future for that relationship and you don’t want that- especially if it’s tied to love or your paycheck. Or both.
4)“Sure, I get it.”
This lie features extensively in boring conversations you really want to get out of, or discussions that you simply don’t understand, nor want/need to understand. Usually the former results from the latter. Whether it’s a cold rejection or a loquacious quantum physicist, the “Yeah, I get it.” is commonly used to end the conversation. We’ve all used this to politely excuse ourselves at some point in time, often following up with a “I think I can hear ____ calling me, I’ll get back to you.” If you haven’t, it’s a useful little trick to give yourself some breathing room!
3) “Of course you don’t look fat in that dress!”
Ah yes. This white lie often comes from the lips of the dutiful best friend, boyfriend, or husband. In these instances, the term “whipped” is rather apt, because the aforementioned liar knows that any other response will get him into a whole world of trouble. What better thing to say, when the alternative is to get slapped and have to make nice by buying an expensive trinket? Instead of having to dent your wallet or be late for whatever event it is you’re dressing up for, choose your a good response over an honest one!
2) “Yes, Mrs. Cooper. James was at my house last night!”
This little white lie is usually told by an extremely good friend who was unaware of his friend’s actual whereabouts, but received a text involving some forewarning that they’d be used as an excuse. The burden of scapegoat usually belongs to whoever is unlucky enough to have the title “Best Friend”. They will then call their friend, make sure they haven’t been kidnapped, and proceed to chew them out and make sure they get their ass back home safely, without any criminal charges. At least, that’s what good friends should do!
1) “No officer, I don’t know why you pulled me over.”
I’m sure you don’t know anyone who’s said the reverse of that. “Sure, officer! I know exactly why you pulled me over. Want a donut?” When you get caught and pulled over for some misdemeanor, everyone’s first instinct is to play dumb. It worked with your parents as a teenager, why not try it out on this here officer? After all, in the words of so many who have related cop-stories, it’s his fault for asking such a silly question!