10 Things to Know About a Girl Before Dating Her
10. Relationship Status
This tip may seem rather obvious; however, some ladies may not be upfront with you about their real relationship status. They could be wanting to start an illicit affair behind their partner or spouse’s back. They also may be on a relationship hiatus, but not fully available for a long-term commitment because of the possibility that their former boyfriend or spouse wanting to get back together. Either way, taking the time to pose this question to a girl that you are interested in dating can save you future heartache and emotional turmoil later. You should not assume that this girl will want to be with you exclusively even if she is in a romance with someone else.
In fact, as silly as it may seem, you would fare well to ask a girl that you want to ask out if she is seeing or dating anyone exclusively. If she answers that she is seeing someone else, but open to dating you, you may proceed with caution and gauge your time with her accordingly to avoid any romantic complications. If she answers that she is not in a relationship with anyone, you can then proceed as you normally would in a new dating situation. When you have this information upfront, you can can figure out if asking her out is worth your time and effort.
It can be difficult to know if someone is available for dating exclusively or not if you are not friends with this person or in that individual’s same circle of acquaintances. In this situation, you should trust your gut instincts and look for signs that this person may be dating someone else in addition to you. Further, if you both are new to each other, you should proceed slowly and get to know that person very well before taking your romance to the next level.
Good manners dictate that a man should never ask a woman about her age. However, if you are unsure whether or not she is a minor, it is always best to err on the side of good judgment instead of good manners. Each state has different age of consent laws, which puts you at risk of committing a felony if you become seriously involved with someone who is underage. If the girl you want to ask out looks like she could be under the age of consent in your state, you should ask how old she is to protect yourself legally.
Again, you can get this information from outside sources if you and she belong to the same circle of friends or acquaintances. However, if you are both unknown to each other, it would not be out of place to explain to her your concerns and gently insist that you be assured of her age before asking her out. If she refuses, you can chalk up her denial of your request as her loss rather than yours. If she agrees and shows you an identification card or some other proof of her age, you can take it as a sign that she is perhaps flattered and willing to go out with you after all.
It is well known in today’s media that young girls lie about their ages all the time to get the attention of older teenage boys and men. Rather than get into a legal mess that could alter your future in devastating ways, you should make it a point to make sure that the girl you want to date is truly above that age of consent mark in your state. If she works with you or goes to college, for example, you can safely assume that she is of legal age. However, if you both are unknown to each other and meet by a chance encounter, you must use other tactics to ensure that this girl is genuinely and legally available for dating.
8. Criminal History
Your legal future may not solely be tied up in whether or not the girl you are interested in is above the age of consent. It also may depend on what kind of criminal history she has. In the perfect scenario, the girl you want to date would have a clean criminal record and not even the slightest traffic infraction on it. However, statistics show that more people than ever have at least one arrest on their record, giving way to the chances that the girl you want to ask out has some sort of criminal past.
If the infraction was minor, such as speeding or littering, it more than likely will have little bearing on your possible future with her. However, if she has previously been arrested for drug possession, DUI, identity theft, assault, or some other serious charge, she may compromise your future significantly if you and she forge ahead with a relationship. Many people who have arrest records find it difficult to get a job, secure housing, and live a normal life after they have been released from jail or probation. Her inability to get a job or even approved for an apartment could leave you with the security you need to build a life with her.
Further, depending on the nature of her crime and how well she has been rehabilitated, the possibility always exists that she could reoffend. You could inadvertently be putting yourself at risk of being an accomplice to her crimes or at least having knowledge about her behavior. You may be questioned by the police and cast in a suspicious light, which puts the burden on you to prove your own innocence. Before you ask out the girl you are interested in, you should verify if she has a criminal background. You can do this by researching online or checking the county court records in your city.
7. Employment Status
The notion of living on love truly proves to be frivolity if either one of you are unemployed or underemployed. While it may seem like a non-issue at first, you should verify whether or not the girl you want to date is employed. Many relationships start out with the guy paying for the movie tickets, dinner, taxi fare, and other expenses. However, as the relationship progresses, this continued financial burden can be too much for any man to keep up without running his bank account dry. When you want to know that your romance can survive in every way, particularly financially, you should find out if the girl you like has a job.
At first glance, you may think it tacky to consider a girl undatable because she does not have a job. However, statistics show that couples fight over money more often than you would think. In fact, fights about money prove to be the breaking point in many partnerships that would otherwise thrive if both parties had enough money coming in to meet their needs and wants.
If she is unemployed right now, but going to college, you can at least take hope in the fact that she is training for a future career. However, if she continues to be jobless after graduating or if she drops out of college and fails to get a job, you would do well to take that as a sign that the financial burden in your relationship will fall on you. If this burden is something you would rather not handle at this time, you may do well to avoid asking her out at all.
6. Financial Behavior
Along with her employment status, you should get some clue about how she treats her money. The old adages about diamonds being a girl’s best friend and girls preferring to shop over anything else may seem cute; however, this kind of behavior can sink your relationship before it even begins if the girl you like is irresponsible with money. Alternatively, if she seems financially prudent and saves her money well, you can take this as a sign that she would do her part to safeguard any finances that you build together as a couple. As unthinkable as it may seem now, you should pay attention to her financial behavior before or shortly asking her out on a date.
Similarly, many guys think that they are acting macho by spending copious amounts of cash on their dates in the early stages of their relationships. The girl you are dating may be flattered; however, you can take it as a good sign if she insists that you save your money and avoiding spending too much cash on her. On the other hand, if a girl keeps insisting that you spend more and more, seeming to never be satisfied by any amount of goods that you buy, this could indicate that she is using you for your money. This could be the point that you walk away from the date and seek a new partner.
Money should not make the world go ’round as much as it does, particularly when it comes to building a new romance with a girl that you like. Even so, before you ask her out, you should figure out if she is responsible with money or if she would likely see you as a cash cow to run dry.
5. Romance Goals
In the world of dating today, there are one-night stands and there are romances that are intended to last. Before you ask a girl out, you should know what kind of scenario she is searching for and whether or not you can accommodate her own needs in the relationship. With many ladies today being financially independent, they no longer seek long-term relationships early in their adult lives. They are more interested in having fun and gaining experience before finally settling down for marriage or parenthood.
If you are interested in having fun and gaining experience as well, then matching up with a girl with that same mindset would work out well for you. However, if you are in it for the long haul and want to build a partnership that is geared more toward marriage and raising a family, you should find out if the woman you are interested in has that same goals in mind. You can ask her directly or take clues from her in everyday conversations that prelude you actually asking her out on a date. At least you can go into the dating relationship with some idea of whether or not you will be together for the foreseeable future.
It used to be that women would forgo a career and seeking out their own self interests in favor of marriage and motherhood. Today, however, that scenario has changed greatly. Before you ask someone out, you should find out if the girl you like has the same romance goals as you or if you both are incompatible for dating entirely.
4. Background and Upbringing
Your childhood proves to be a significant factor in the person you are today. Many people bring their childhood experiences, memories, and influences with them into adulthood. Given this fact, you would be well served to tell the girl you like about your background and find out about hers before asking her out on a date. These details can help you both learn if you can create a bond with each other or if your backgrounds are so different that you could never have anything in common in the future.
For example, if you had a conservative upbringing and were subject to strict discipline as a child, yet the woman you want to ask out had a very liberal background, it could be difficult for you to see eye-to-eye with her on even simple topics like who should pay the restaurant check or whether or not you should open the door for her. Even the smallest of differences can build to major arguments if you both have led very different lives.
Further, it could influence how you raise your own children. It is important for people to have some common ground as they build a relationship with each other. By knowing her background and upbringing, you know upfront what challenges could present themselves to you if you pursue a relationship with her.
3. Religious Preferences
In addition to her upbringing and background, you also should find out if she has any religious preferences and if so, what those preferences are. Like money, religion can undermine your romance before it even begins. Couples who fail to see eye-to-eye on religion could be headed for disaster if they cannot work out these differences before getting married or building a permanent commitment to each other. Like asking for her age, you may be uncomfortable asking about her religious ideals. Even so, you could be saving yourself future troubles by getting this information sooner rather than later.
Many couples fail to appreciate how religion can impact their relationship until it comes time to plan a wedding, raise children, or plan out other important details. Once they find out that they have different ideals, it can be a major battle to compromise, particularly if you both have deep beliefs that you are unwilling to relinquish.
Even if you were not brought up in a particular faith or in a religious family, you should always find out if the girl you want to ask out has a religious affiliation and how devoted she is to it. It is important that this part of her be something to which you can conform yourself to or at least accommodate for your own peace of mind.
Many people who have serious health challenges look perfectly well and display few outward symptoms. In reality, however, they could be gravely ill and need constant medical attention. Some of the silent conditions whose symptoms may not be obvious at first glance include anemia, hepatitis, chronic lung disease, diabetes, and even heart problems. When you want to ask out a girl that you like, you may do well to find out if she has any health challenges that could call for you to act promptly. Being ready to take care of her in case of an emergency requires that you know these details before you begin dating.
These conditions and others like them also will have a significant role in your future relationship with her if you both become serious about each other. You will be called upon to learn how to monitor her appearance for signs of illness and act quickly to help her if she becomes ill. If this is something you can handle, you can ask her out and face the likelihood that you will at some point deal with her health issue. If you cannot, it would be best that you avoid asking her out entirely.
This information also comes into play if you want to have children some day. If she has a hereditary illness that could be passed onto your children, you at least will be prepared to seek out genetic counseling or other medical advice if your relationship progresses to that point. Health challenges at any age can determine the outcome of your dating chances with the girl you like. You can prepare now by finding out what, if any, conditions she may be dealing with right now.
Couples should share the same mindset when it comes to having children. Many people begin relationships and reach the point of wanting to get married, only to find out that one party abhors the idea of becoming a parent. Even if at first it seems like you both are just living in the moment and seeing where fate takes you, you should investigate how open she is to being a mother at some point in the future. You can decide whether or not to ask her out based on her answer and how well her answer matches your own intentions.
It is also important to remember that few people change their minds about this important topic. If you want to have kids, but she does not, you should not continue to date her with the belief that she will be more receptive to kids in the future. This hope more than likely will lead to your being heartbroken. Rather than set yourself up for disappointment, you should find out this important detail and avoid asking her out if she says she does not want children.
Similarly, if you do not want kids, but she does, you should avoid stringing her along in the relationship. After you find out that she wants kids, you should tell her your side of the argument and politely decline asking her out if she cannot abide by your mindset. You both may be disappointed, but you also save yourself more intense grief later after your hopes for parenthood are dashed. You also spare any kids you might have from being raised by one parent who in reality would have preferred to remain childless for the rest of his or her life.
A myriad of information can determine how well you and the girl you like can build a relationship with each other. Before you ask her out, you must determine these details. The answers to these questions can impact you legally, financially, and emotionally. You can spare yourself a future of turmoil or alternatively look forward to a life of happiness by having these facts on hand before you ask out the girl in which you are interested.