10 Reasons Why You Are So Ugly
As children we all hear the story about the ugly duckling – the drab, grey bird who looks so unlike his sleek, beautiful siblings. That story has a happy ending as he changes into a beautiful swan, 10 times more beautiful than the people who mocked him. Alternatively we read books or watch films where the ‘pretty ugly girl’ becomes beautiful over the course of the story as people learn to see her for what she really is and she learns to be confident in her own skin.
For some people these stories give hope, for others, however, the stories are a cruel hoax. Not all ugly ducklings are, however, swans in disguise, not all ugly girls have a pretty one waiting behind their glasses and not all geeks will get the girl in the end.
It is easy for others (often people we perceive as beautiful) to say that hankering after beauty is mere vanity. It can be depressing to be ugly in a world of beautiful people but what can you do about it? Beauty is, so they say, in the eye of the beholder and the chances are that you are your worst critic. Cleopatra, one of the reputedly most beautiful women of all time was, by modern standards, extremely ugly. She was a bald , wore a wig, had a hooked nose and fairly fat, fleshy face. She was also witty, with a musical voice and stimulating character and the key political figures of the day fought a war because of love for her!
If there are things about your appearance that bother you the chances are that there are things you can do to change them. Here are the top 10 reasons why you are (or think you are) ugly and how to change them!
10. You think you are fat
We live in an age obsessed with weight and size. Magazines advertise clothing on models who are not only paid to be extremely thin (so that the clothes hang well) and beautiful. The photographs in these magazines are, however, touched up. Every single one of the photographs you see is a lie. The most beautiful women and men in the world, the people who are paid to devote all their time to their appearance, fall so far from our standards of beauty that, in order to be able to sell products, their images have to be altered – a bit of weight trimmed off the hips, a few inches added to the legs, those bingo wings erased.
Most magazines are honest about the retouching and everyone knows that it happens. It is easy to believe that if you follow the health, beauty and fitness advice contained in the magazines and on ‘beauty and fashion’ websites you too can look like the models in them. The truth is, however, that you will never meet that goal. Our perception of normal, healthy beauty has been skewed by the application of technology. The best thing you can do is ditch the magazines or, at the very least, acknowledge that they are pedaling a big fat lie.
Whether or not you are a healthy weight will depend on so many factors – 120lb might be seriously underweight for one person but completely normal and healthy for another. The best way to work out if you are a healthy weight for your size is to check your Body Mass Index. This gives you guidelines – if your reading is above average you should think about losing some weight. If you fall within the normal range you have nothing to worry about (although if you feel bad about your body it might help to do some exercise to tone up your muscles).
9. You have bad skin
Did you know that our skin is the largest organ in our body. It protects us from the sun, helps excrete toxins and regulates the environment within our bodies. It is also one of the most visible outward manifestations of physical beauty. Almost everybody, if asked, would aspire to have plump, blemish free, dewy skin. Sadly just about the only people who have this type of skin without putting in serious effort are babies and young children.
From the teenage years struggles with larger pores, blackheads, pimples and huge pizza like zoids are sadly all too common not to mention the horrible blind hormonal spots that many women get on their chins once a month. It can be tempting to think that if your skin is less than perfect then you are going to be perceived as ugly. The truth is many people, even celebrities, struggle with poor skin. Those same magazines that retouch already skinny women (or muscular men) to make them look ‘more perfect’ (see above) will also perform miracles of photo retouching to remove any blemishes, pimples etc that appear. The same will be done for actors in films or on stage.
There are, luckily, some things you can do to combat bad skin. Firstly, if you are a female suffering from hormonal spots then certain brands of birth control pill can help to moderate the impact. Other bad skin problems can be tackle by different medications so, in the first instance, a visit to a dermatologist might be a good place to start.
There are adverts galore for expensive skin care systems that promise (alongside heavily retouched photographs that have no bearing on reality) to give you perfect skin. Most of these systems will do the same thing. In essence you need a soap free pH balanced cleanser (you could pay a lot but something off the shelf from Target will also do the job as long as it is right for your skin type), a toner and a moisturizer with good SPF sun protection. You need to moisturize, even if your skin is very oily. Follow your regimen morning and night (at night you can use a richer moisturizer) and use a gentle exfoliant once a week. Within a short time you will see an improvement in the quality of your skin. One thing to be pleased about – if you have greasy, pimple prone skin, you are less likely to get wrinkles as early on as someone with more perfect looking skin so you will look young and healthy for years in the future.
In addition to your daily skin care regime make sure to drink 8 glasses of water a day – this will help flush out toxins and keep your skin looking plump and hydrated. Remember that while you are likely to think your bad skin is the most noticeable thing about you the chances are that others do not perceive it as badly as you do. The chances also are that people who are truly your friends can look beyond any pimples and flaws on your skin to see the beautiful aspects of your body and personality.
8. You have bad hair
The chances are that whether your hair is curly, straight, blonde or dark you wish that it looked different. Hair is such an integral part of our personalities that if something goes wrong with it people often experience a loss of confidence.
The good news is that hair is easy to fix and relatively simple to style (within limits) to the specifications you want. If you are brunette but feel more confident as a blonde – go for it! If you have curly hair you can get it relaxed with a so called ‘Brazilian blow dry’ to make it smoother and straighter.
However you like to style your hair you are likely to feel better if it is as healthy as it can be. Try not to over wash it – people with greasy hair are often tempted to wash every day but unless this is absolutely necessary going at least a day between washes will help maintain its condition. Use a shampoo appropriate to your hair type, it can take some experimenting to find a version you are happy with and you may need to change it every few months to prevent build up. Always condition your hair after a shampoo and use an intensive conditioner once a week. Don’t apply too much of any one product and make sure that they rinse out completely otherwise your hair will end up looking dull. Applying oil after towel drying will also help to lock in moisture and promote shine and, while it can be tempting to blow dry and use hot straighteners to make it look its best these items can damage your hair so make sure that you use a protective spray every time you apply heat to your hair.
Lastly a good cut will help you feel more confident. A professional stylist will be able to help you chose a style that suits you and makes the most of your features as well as being easy to maintain.
If you feel that your hair is letting you down invest some time in researching the right products and style and you will start to feel more confident, both about your hair and about yourself.
7. Your face is not symmetrical
The human perception of beauty is predicated on symmetry – simply put we believe that people with symmetrical faces are more beautiful than those whose faces are not. Many of us believe that we have our ‘good’ side, which we prefer to be seen in photographs. Photographic experiments show that where our portraits are manipulated to give us perfect symmetry our faces will look radically different. People whose faces are naturally more symmetrical tend to be happy with both the right side and left side symmetry photographs whereas people with less symmetrical faces will often prefer one photograph more than the other.
Short of expensive and painful plastic surgery there is not much that you can do to make your face more symmetrical if it is not. You can, however, play about with your photograph by using online tools to see what your face would look like if it were completely symmetrical. This will help you to identify the features of your face with which you are most satisfied so that you can concentrate and build on these.
6. You are flabby
Even if you are not fat (see above) you may be lacking in muscle tone. It is perfectly possible to have a healthy BMI and eat well but have a little wobble on your tummy or thighs. In reality this is usually not much of a problem because, if you are in the healthy range the chances are that you have magnified the problem out of proportion and that you see the wobble far more than others do. If, however, you are uncomfortable with your figure and want to do something about it you have a relatively easy fix.
Getting fit and toning up is easier today than it has ever been. A quick search of your smartphone apps will give you any number of free programs that claim to help tone you up in a matter of days. The thing to remember, however, is that the quicker a fix a program promises the less likely it is to deliver.
If you want to tone up you should aim to exercise a minimum of 30 minutes 3-4 times a week. Low weight high intensity repetitions or varied circuits will help stop you from getting bored while giving great results. Jogging and swimming are also excellent exercises. Of course the type of exercise you do will be dependent on the end results – if you are a man who wants to look like Sylvester Stallone you will be doing a lot more high repetition heavy weight high intensity exercises than a woman who just wants to cut out the jiggle.
5. Your teeth are badly cared for
Americans love their perfect teeth. So much so that the pearly whites of the US are often mocked as extreme and unnatural by people from other nations while Americans in turn mock other nations such as the British for having truly awful teeth. Whole internet sites exist simply to shame people with bad teeth so, if you are unlucky to have a gap, buck teeth or simple discoloration you might feel self-conscious about smiling.
The chances are if you grew up in the US your parents will have made you go to the orthodontist and your teeth will be straight but if you missed out on this rite of American childhood or if you grew up abroad you might need to take yourself down to the orthodontist for some remedial work.
No matter the state of your mouth you should brush and floss, use mouthwash and visit your dentist every 6 months so that she can remove any buildup of calculus. If you are worried that the color of your teeth is starting to be rather more coffee brown than pearly white you might need to take action. Gentle whitening toothpastes will work wonders if you catch the problem early. If your teeth are badly stained you may need to have them professionally whitened with the assistance of your dentist.
4. You dress badly
Going back to those fashion magazines full of models with retouched photographs and perfect (faked) makeup; when you take a look all the models look perfect. While a significant part of the perfection is down to computer retouching a lot of it is down to the fact that they are wearing top of the range, high end clothes that have been altered to fit the models.
It can be tempting to slob around in casual clothes on your day off or do the school run in your yoga pants. The truth is you make yourself look ugly when you give up on your appearance. You don’t need to wear a three piece suit to sit at a bar or when enjoying your vacation or a ball dress at the cinema but you should try to dress appropriately and make some effort to choose clothes that flatter.
Clothes don’t need to be expensive to look good (although the more expensive clothes will look better and last longer) but you should aim to buy the best quality you can afford. The key to looking good is to wear the most appropriate clothes for any given situation. Even jeans and a t-shirt can look stunning if you pull it together properly – the jeans should fit you properly to flatter your best assets while a tucked in T will look more pulled together than something crumpled and hanging out. Keep your clothes neat and clean – it might be tempting to think that you don’t need to press your casuals and that they look ‘ok’ but they will look better and you will feel better if they are ironed.
You also need to be realistic about what flatters you and what does not. Your teenage son might get away with shorts but they don’t look so good on a 40 year old. A shorter woman might long to look elegant in Kathryn Hepburn style trouser suits but they will just make her look dumpy! Know what looks good and accentuate that while minimizing what does not work for you.
Women should invest in good underwear – control underpants will help keep everything in when you are wearing unforgiving tight dresses and skirts and the right bra will help clothes hang better as well as improving your posture, preventing back ache and giving you more confidence.
3. You have hygiene issues
If you are hygienically challenged you will find that people shy away from you. The truth is that we are almost completely unable to smell ourselves when our body odors are in normal range. If you catch a whiff of something then you reek to everyone else. There are no short cuts – you need to shower or bathe every day, don fresh underwear every day, air your clothes out overnight if you are going to re-wear them and wash your hair regularly. You also need to maintain a good oral hygiene routine (see above) and trim your nails.
These minimum steps will prevent unpleasant body odors from offending other people. If you are still concerned that you do not look your best you might also consider keeping your body hair in check (waxing or shaving), plucking your eyebrows and having a regular manicure and pedicure.
2. You have an ugly personality
We hate to be blunt but sometimes people think others are ugly not because they look nasty but because they are, quite simply, deeply unpleasant people.
No matter how well-groomed someone is, how fragrant their breath, how expensive their clothes or symmetrical their face if they have an unpleasant personality then others will (sometimes immediately sometimes over time) perceive them as ugly. If you find that people do not warm to you examine your character, are you conceited, humorless, unkind or do you have other traits that people do not value and do not warm to. It can be very difficult to carry out this type of analysis and you might learn things that make you very uncomfortable. The thing is, if this is truly the reason why people think you are ugly then you can make yourself look better and become a better person – win/win!
1. You have confidence issues
Confidence is one of those vitally important life skills. When we think about the people whose looks we admire – they appear confident of their good looks. Successful people are confident in their ability to do their job or to learn new skills. The truth is, however, that confidence is a self-fulfilling prophecy. If you have confidence that you can do something you are far more likely to do it well than if you are concerned that you might fail.
Confidence is also an attractive personality trait. No matter how beautiful you are nobody will be interested in someone who hides in a corner or speaks to the floor. Shy pretty people will often be passed over for the more outgoing people, even if their looks are only average. We are all draw to confident people because they believe in themselves and therefore, in others. Note that there is a distinct difference between confidence (which others love) and bragging (which will put a person firmly in category number 2 above). Learn to build your confidence by doing tailored exercises. Stand tall when walking into a room, look people in the eye, have a firm handshake and believe that you have earned your place at the table!
The chances are that you came across this article because you feel that you are ugly. Actually the chances are that you are no such thing. Very few people are truly hideous to look at. Some people may be stunningly beautiful – they won the jackpot in nature’s lottery but most of us have some feature that is worth celebrating. If your body is less than perfect your hair may be the subject of envy amongst your fit friends. If you are a little short and dumpy learn to celebrate your curves! We hope that this article has given you some pointers to help you deal with some of the concerns you might have.
When you analyze it logically you are probably suffering from a lack of confidence – the best thing you can do is to learn how to be confident again and how to believe in yourself. By the way if someone other than yourself has told you that you are ugly then they are a bully (and sadly although they are common in schools these lowlifes exist at all stages of life, even the retirement home). Re-read point 2 above!