Top 10 Things Guys Should Know About Flirting but somehow there are guys out there that don’t!
Do you always find yourself in a situation like this? You were in a bar, having a good time with your friends. Then suddenly, the door opened and a gorgeous woman appeared. She was so pretty – perfect eyes, beautiful hair, sexy body – everything! Then at that very moment, you got excited and thought about going to talk to her, or at least doing something that would make her pay attention to you. But when you were about to approach her, you suddenly lose your ability to move and stand, like you just twisted your ankle! And you started to imagine negative things that could happen, such as rejecting you or not reacting to you. Then, this guy in another corner stood up and said something on her, and the next thing you knew, they were laughing and heading somewhere else. Ouch!
You wish that guy was you – that you could be that guy who can walk up to a girl and tell her that you like her. Okay, breathe. Right now, you’re not that person; you’re not that kind of guy. Let’s accept the fact that you’re a shy type guy – someone who is socially inexperienced or suffering from social anxiety. Okay, that’s a bit harsh. But fret not. Asking a girl out can really be sometimes scary, especially when you haven’t done it before. And believe me when I say that many men struggle with that. In fact, everyone has been there at some point. But the best part is you could always be that person who can approach women and get them interested in you. The trick is you just have to know the most effective techniques that will help you flirt with a girl and succeed in making her falling in love with you. Ready? Here are the top 10 flirting techniques that you can use on a woman you like.
10. Make Eye Contact: The Correct Way
This is the most effective and easiest way to let someone know you’re interested in her. It’s subtle, and yet it gets the message across while at the same time creates some kind of attraction. Many guys start off by looking at the person because it’s the best way to show their intention without risking a face-to-face rejection. If you don’t know what to do or you don’t know what to say, eye contact flirting may be the best move to help you get the attention of the woman of your dreams and make an impression in no time.
Men who make and hold high level eye contact are perceived by women as confident and attractive. If you really find it difficult to do it, just remember that the ability to make and hold an eye contact is what most women want in a man. And that’s true. Women want to be looked at. It makes them feel good about themselves.
But it’s important to take note that when doing it, don’t begin with a full-on stare as this will make the girl uncomfortable. Start with looking at her for a few seconds. After you lock eye for a few seconds, drop your gaze. Then look back again, this time, a little bit longer. If the girl you like looks back at you, it’s a sign that she’s interested.
Eye contact is truly powerful, so it’s very important to learn how to flirt with eye contact. As what the Social Issues Research Centre say: “Your eyes are probably your most important flirting tool…they are also extremely high-powered transmitters of vital social signals.”
Okay, you’re shy and even making an eye contact is very difficult for you to do. But as what they say, there’s no harm in trying right? After all, eye contact is harmless. You could change a glance on anyone on the street, or while having your dinner at a restaurant, or while you’re sitting at the park, without losing anything – it’s something that all of us are free to do. Well, if you’re not used to it, you can always practice in front of the mirror. No, seriously! Also remember that eye contact is a skill that can be developed by experience.
It’s very important to take note that making eye contact is not just all that matters. If you really want to attract a woman, you must also project a warm and friendly vibe; otherwise she will think that you’re a lunatic. And the best way to do this is to smile. Aside from making eye contact, smiling is another universally accepted flirting technique that works for both men and women – well, of course, as long as you do it right.
There are basically two types of smiles, and the one that you should be going for is known as Duchenne smile, which raises your cheeks high and produces crow’s feet around your eyes. This kind of smile is the genuine type and it’s a very powerful tool for flirting. When you do it, it’s like saying to the girl that, “I like you, and I’m really glad to see you,” without actually speaking those words. However, it is important to make sure that your smile is directed to the person you like. When you do it, look straight into her eyes. If she looks and smiles back, it’s a sign that she’s interested, too, and she’s giving you a permission to approach. If she does that, head on over and go talk to her. If you don’t, somebody else will.
8. Dress to Impress
When it comes to flirting, looks are very important. Well, of course this doesn’t mean that you won’t get a girl if you don’t look like Brad Pitt or Ryan Gosling – that’s a total myth. In fact, most beautiful and hot sexy girls end-up with average guys. Why? Because most girls don’t focus much on the looks. What I mean about the phrase “looks are very important” is how you present yourself. When you’re trying to impress someone, you want to make sure that you’re dressed well and well-groomed.
While girls don’t give much importance about your physical beauty, they still prefer someone who take the time to make themselves look nice – someone who knows how to care for himself. If you can’t make the effort, girls will think that you’re a lazy and irresponsible person and will certainly not going to talk to you or even worse, will try to avoid you. Such a bad feeling, isn’t it? So don’t let that happen!
The question now is, do you need to spend a fortune to get decent clothing and hairstyle? No, you don’t. The trick here is to find some nice clothing; even if it’s cheap or second hand, as long as it feels comfortable to wear and it makes you look your best, it is great. Do some research to find the best clothes and hairstyle that suit you best. If you have a budget, you can hire a personal consultant. But if you don’t, you can ask some friends for advice. Just remember that when choosing the right clothing, it crucial to also consider your skin tone, body shape, and hair color.
7. Smell Good
Remember that besides looking great, smelling good should also be your priority when going out someplace where you might meet the girl you would like. Believe it or not, scent has actually a lot to do with captivating ladies. Have you ever wondered why some men, who are not even so good-looking, consistently attract beautiful women? Well, chances are their scent is so sexy and seductive, making them irresistible to women.
Studies show that men who smell great are more appealing to the opposite sex. In a recent study conducted at Oxford University, women were asked to rate men’s attractiveness based on their headshots. While they reviewed each guy’s photos, the women were simultaneously exposed to different scents – some pleasant and some are not. In the presence of pleasant scents, the women rated guys as being much attractive. On the other hand, they rated male faces as being less attractive in the presence of unpleasant smells.
Still not convinced? Just think about this, do you think women would like to talk to you if you have unbearable odor? Women dislike men with bad hygiene. It’s among the top turn offs for them. If you really want to get the attention of the girl you like even without expending much effort, then try your best to smell nice. Believe me, it will drive girls crazy.
6. Touch Her
Touching a girl is all part of the plan of making her like you. (But of course not the touch that you’re thinking about!) Touch is one of the most powerful ways of connecting with other people. It’s also a great way to let someone know how you feel about her. If you’re not touching the person you like, you’re sending a very specific message that you don’t have any interest in her. But if you touch her, you’re letting this person know that you have something “more than just a friend” in mind. But again, you need to do this in the right way; otherwise, you’ll annoy her or just creep her out.
For instance, if you’re flirting with a girl that you just met, you can start with a simple introductory handshake, but make sure that you hold on to her hand a little longer than expected. How long? Well, at least long enough for her to notice. Then while talking, find an excuse to brush up against her – touch her shoulder when she says something amazing, or touch her arm when she says something funny. Just remember to always start with small steps to avoid giving off a creepy vibe. As your relationship starts to progress, you can gradually move to much more intimate form of touching.
In terms of flirting, a gradual touch is very important. It will not just make her feel more comfortable with you, but it will also make her feel closer and want more of you. That’s right! Remember that in order to successfully get a girl, you should always leave her wanting more. If you make the game too easy for her, she will lose her interest and move on to the next one. So touch her, but don’t touch her too often or too long. This makes you more desirable because the more you leave her hanging, the more you become mysterious. And the more you become mysterious, the more she will want to know you better.
5. Make her laugh
It’s no secret that women like guys who can make them laugh. Believe it or not, studies revealed that women are genetically hardwired to find guys with sense of humor truly attractive. And that’s great news if you’re a natural comedian. Humor shows intelligence and an ability to overcome difficulties. When you make a good joke even if the situation is so hard and people laugh at it, it just shows that you’re smart enough to process things and confident enough to be able to manage hard situations lightly. That mixture of qualities is what women find admirable.
But let’s be clear about this, okay? When I say funny, it doesn’t mean making immature jokes, laughing at other people, or trying hard to make the woman of your dreams laugh all the time. It doesn’t work that way. When it comes to flirting, being funny is crucial, but remember to not be too funny; otherwise she’ll think that you’re just a clown and never take you seriously. You can always start with simple and light jokes, probably about yourself or your personal experience. Lightly making fun of her is also a great flirting technique that will let her know that you’re interested in her. But remember to keep it on the level and as much as possible, avoid telling any jokes about her physical appearance. Also, avoid making jokes on sensitive issues, such as on politics, religion, culture, and sex, as she might find those incredibly offensive.
It’s very important to watch your words carefully. Even if you’re a natural funny guy, it’s still best to practice and learn effective tricks that could make her laugh. If you’re not a natural-born comedian, then learn to be. Watch comedy shows and movies, read funny magazines, or ask a funny friend to give you some tips on how to be funny. Make an effort!
4. Be Curious
When it comes to flirting, curiosity can really be a powerful tool – as long as it is used properly. By nature, women love to communicate. They love to talk about things, especially about themselves. Why else do you think women spend so much time talking with their friends over the phone? So talk to her, and ask her things about herself. Something like, “What’s her favorite food?” or “What’s her favorite place in the world?” or “What was she like as a kid?” will do. Ask her! If she mentions that her job involves being with children, ask her about the experience. Patiently wait for her reply and listen when she’s talking. This will surely make her feel she’s actually interesting and important.
But be careful, though, because she’ll know when you’re faking it. Just try to make the conversation as natural as possible, and don’t push it if the topic is not that really interesting. And please, avoid talking about her past relationships because it’ll just give you a fast-track ticket to the friend zone.
3. Compliment Her, But Not Too Much
Women love to be complimented, but it takes far more than just a “Hi, you’re hot!” to win someone’s heart. Yes, complementing is an effective way to seduce a woman, but I don’t recommend telling classic movie lines that she’s heard a thousand or rather, million times already. You know those lame pickup lines, “You’re so beautiful,” “You’re so sexy,” “You have very beautiful eyes” – women are tired of those. As a matter of fact, they no longer want to hear those.
The trick here is to not compliment her on her physical looks. If you do it, like for instance you say, “You look sexy in that dress,” she’ll automatically label you as “Mr. Everybody” – someone who just wants to get in her pants. And you don’t want that. So how you should make compliments?
As mentioned, don’t tell her those lame and predictable pickup lines she’s heard already. Instead, think of something original – something that you think she’s never heard of. Observe her and when you notice something nice about her, then tell that to her. It’s very important to say something that is true, sincere, and different. She will appreciate that more. And when you’re different, you become more appealing. But remember to not overdo it because a girl can tell if you’re just saying a bunch of bull. And that will be a minus point.
2. Speak Smartly
Women are insanely turned on by intelligent men. They find them truly sexy and attractive. Oh no, don’t frown if you don’t feel you’re a smart guy. I’m not talking about being Einstein or Lavoisier here. This part of flirting doesn’t require you to master Quantum Physics or Molecular Chemistry. Being smart in terms of flirting is knowing how to talk to a woman in the same way that smart men would talk to her. Smart guys talk with confidence, with sense, and with certainty. And they also know how to keep the conversation going and fun.
If you’re not good with conversation, then practice. Go out and mingle with others. Talk to your friends more. Read so you can improve your knowledge. Watch news to keep you informed about the latest happenings. Remember, many women find intelligence important. They want someone whom they could relate to on an intellectual level. Most women are turned off by guys who are boring and have nothing to say for themselves.
Well, if you’re naturally shy, as mentioned, practice. In addition, you need to think of things to say first before approaching the girl you want. This will help you avoid those awkward moments of silence. And also remember to avoid talking about topics that you actually know nothing about no matter how interesting they are. That will put on you on a big trouble!
One easy way to impress the girl of your dreams is to tell funny jokes. If you run out of jokes, compliment her or ask her things about her life, feelings, or hobbies. Find out what interests she has and talk about those. It’s also a good thing to open her a bit about yourself. Then, just enjoy the talking. The truth is, there are so many things that you could talk about to make your conversation fun. Just relax, be nice, and be respectful and she will surely notice you.
1. Be Yourself
And finally, just be yourself! At the end of the day, women still choose the guy who is real – who doesn’t pretend to be someone else, who doesn’t lie, or who doesn’t say cheesy lines just to impress. Sure, you flirt in order to get the attention of the woman you’re interested in, but flirting isn’t about being someone you’re not, or using awkward pickup lines, or seducing someone by what you wear. It has something to do with expressing your real intention to the girl in the most sincere way. And you can’t do that if you keep on imitating someone else, or you keep on being too nice or too sweet.
So, just be yourself. When you’re “you,” not only that you will feel more relaxed and look more confident, but you’ll also become more unafraid to speak honestly and express what you truly feel. Don’t worry if you think you don’t look like Tom Cruise or her favorite baseball star. If she doesn’t like you, then fine, there are more other interesting girls around. Just move on and find someone else. Isn’t it great if you find someone who can truly accept you for who you are? Life is much happier and meaningful with less stress, self doubt, and with someone who accepts you for who you are.